The Next Step

It is hard to believe, but it looks like summer is coming to an end and another school year is about to start.  I’m anxious to get back into a routine and to save a million dollars a month not having to pay a babysitter full time, but I must say, I have enjoyed this summer.

We swam and swam and swam some more. Sam is a full-on fish now and Colt is a master swimmer. We took our vacation to Wyoming and Montana this year and what a vacation it was! We saw animals we had only seen in books and God’s most beautiful handiwork that books and internet pictures could never do justice. The whole experience was a complete and total rejuvenation for the soul and I will remember it always, I hope my children will too.

It brings tears to my eyes to think of my little Sam George going off to kindergarten. Where did the time go? How did this happen? I seem to be asking these questions constantly these days and it breaks my heart. Onward and upward we go though.

I took Sam to kindergarten testing last week and when he finished, I asked the teacher how he did. She said one word: “Wow.” He’s a little smarty pants, in more ways than one! Ha. But in all honesty, I’m so proud of that little guy we call Sam. If you know him, you know the mess that he is. He has a magnetic personality that makes kids of all ages just adore him and he’s actually a really funny guy. He possesses incredible athleticism and drive when he puts his mind to something and he is fully aware, at all times, of everything around him (be careful what you say!). His mind is always moving – maybe not in the right direction, but you better believe, it’s moving. This child is fiercely independent and hard headed, but you’ve also never met a bigger snuggle-bug late at night or early in the morning. He is now and still remains mama’s baby and I am perfectly, 100% a-okay with that! Did I mention the curls?? How in the world could I have forgotten those curls?! He said, “Mom, (runs fingers through hair) girls just LOVE my curls!” Oh Lord….

Sam is a lover of much. He loves babies, his cousins, his friends and his family, he loves to play outside – a video gamer he will never be. He has a big heart when it comes to helping his brother succeed at something and he will often times let Colt win at things to boost his self-esteem. However, having a child that can command a room, requires our constant attention, for with that ability comes great power. He’s a leader and our job as his parents, is to lead him in the right, Godly direction. It’s no small task and I know we’re going to be doing A LOT of praying the upcoming years!

But I sure do love that baby and he is SO excited to be a big boy going to Kindergarten! I will keep you all posted on how that goes and in the meantime, if you want to send some prayers this way, I won’t complain. I have a feeling that I’m going to be a blubbering mess come Friday morning!

Happy Birthday Colt!

Seven years ago I was in the hospital, experiencing the most excruciating pain and the most joy I’d ever experienced in my entire life. On May 28, 2009, my world as I knew it, changed forever. Surrounded by more family and friends than a waiting room could possibly hold, I welcomed my little 6 pound, 9 ounce baby boy into the world.

He is what I had wanted my whole life, since I was a child. This tiny, perfect, beautiful gift that God had not only given me, but felt me worthy to trust me with this little life. I am and still remain so unworthy. But I am so thankful.  I am thankful for the miracle of life and most thankful for the miracle of this child’s life.

Seven years ago, I was just a child myself. I’ve been on this bumpy road ever since, trying so hard to give my sweet Colt a good life and to let him know how unbelievably loved he is. I make mistakes, so many mistakes. But his love is unconditional in return, so the two of us make a good team. Every morning I ask the boys if they slept well and had sweet dreams. The other day, I was running out the door to work and he kept saying my name and tugging on me and finally I turned around and yelled, “WHAT COLT?!” He said, “Mom, you forgot something. You forgot to ask me how I slept and if I had sweet dreams.” So I set all my stuff down and loved on him and asked him how he slept and if he had sweet dreams. My sweet, little creature of habit.

Every night since he came home from the hospital, he has to go to sleep with “Golden Slumbers” – Paul McCartney sings it, but it’s originally a poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. It’s so important, that even Bobba has to sing it to him when I’m not there and he’s having a sleepover. Sometimes when I sing it, he tells me that he didn’t pay attention and asks me to sing it again. If I tell him no, he starts crying until he can’t breathe because he wants to not only hear, but pay attention to his song. I’d been getting so mad at him when he makes me sing it again and the other day, I thought, why?? Why am I getting mad that I have to sing a two-minute song again? One day very soon, he won’t want me to sing this song and I’m going to be devastated. So now I sing it. I sing it twice and I’ll sing it three times, because I’m so BLESSED that my child wants me to do this at all and I know one day I’ll be the one crying to sing it again.

We went to get a new pair of glasses last week and Colt wanted a pair of wire-rimmed ones. I didn’t want him to get them, he looked entirely too old. I loved his bright blue ones.

He also went to bed the other night without his special blanket he’s had since he was a baby. I asked him if he wanted me to get it and he told me that it was okay, he was big now and really didn’t need it. I promptly went and got his blanket and told him that he did need it (I’m crazy, I know. Don’t judge me!).

But, I conceded. I stopped making him sleep with his blanket and I let him get the wire rimmed glasses. It’s hard to let my baby grow, but I’m trying. I’m trying really hard to fight the tears and make these transitions – some days are better than others.

So, as I come upon the 7-year anniversary of the greatest day in the history of my (almost) 34 years of life, I am thankful, so thankful for this gift. The gift of a child that is kind and generous from the oldest person he meets to the youngest. His heart is pure and his love of life and the little details of it, is contagious. His memory is incredible (ask him what the elf on the shelf did 3 years ago on the 2^nd Tuesday in December because he’ll remember, I’m serious). He genuinely, unconditionally, whole-heartedly loves. He loves his family, he loves his friends and he loves that damn crazy puppy of his. Most importantly though, he loves Jesus. Even though he only wants sleep overs with Jesus and doesn’t want to spend his whole life there, he loves him very much.

Thank you Lord, for the gift my son, Colton (Gus) Skinner.

A Tube of Toothpaste

It has been six years since I have had a job.  I’ve subbed and worked part-time for a while in Houston, but this is the first time I’ve had a real, full-time job since becoming a mother.  To be honest, it has been a struggle of epic proportions.  My husband, bless his heart, is a great father, one of the best I’ve ever known, but he is a terrible cleaner.  In fact, he is messier than all three kids combined (and that’s bad because the kids are TORNADOS).  I come home to a house that is littered in clothes and cups (I live in cup-hell, but that’s a blog for another day) and smells like poop because someone wasn’t watching our precious little puppy or EVEN WORSE, said husband was watching our precious puppy and can point out where the poop is, but waited for me to come around to pick it up and Clorox the floor.  Did I mention that dinner and homework haven’t been started either?? FUN TIMES IN THE SKINNER HOUSE!!

So needless to say, I’ve been very angry lately.  Angry at anyone and everyone because I literally, physically, figuratively, emotionally, mentally and another other –ally(s) that you can imagine, cannot do it all anymore.  But, all that being said, my home life is not a job I can quit or walk out on for any length of time (because, could you IMAGINE what it would look like when I came back?). 

I no longer have time to shop anymore, goodbye forever Target, Walmart and Walgreens.  So, Chloe needs face wash and razors, Bryan is out of bar soap and the boys need vitamins and toothpaste.  What to do?  I got on Walgreens.com and made an order with two-day shipping.  I told the boys that I ordered them new toothpaste and they asked what kind.  It was Avengers, no big deal, I just picked it because they like Avengers and it was the first thing that popped up when I searched. Both days that it took for the package to arrive, they asked and waited for their Avenger toothpaste.  My boys acted like they were waiting for Christmas morning.  Well, Santa (a.k.a. the UPS guy) arrived with the Walgreens package.  They opened it like it was a present and ran upstairs to brush their teeth.  Two minutes later they came downstairs saving the puppy from villains like Captain America and picking things up with their really strong muscles like the Hulk.  The long-awaited toothpaste had given them Avenger super-hero powers.  How about that? Watching them run around, I started thinking about my devotional I read that morning.  Be thankful in all things and in all circumstances, not to be universally thankful, but be specific.  Specifically, I am thankful for these little children that still believe in magic.  That the magic of super hero toothpaste will give them special powers.  Thankful that they can run and play and that they are healthy.  Thankful for their joyful spirit and the little things that they love.  Thankful that although I feel like we are surrounded by chaos, they don’t feel it.  Their life is carefree and fun, which is exactly what I want for my five and six-year-old boys.

So, this weekend, I got a new outlook on my life.  Work has made chaos, yes.  But work is a BLESSING and I truly am THANKFUL for my job and the things that it will provide for us! So, I am on a path to organizing my chaos. We started this weekend, cleaning.  I gave the boys jobs and Bryan jobs and they actually did help.  Chloe, my biggest helper of all was sick, so she got some much needed rest (she is the least of my messers anyway).  We are a long way from “getting it all together,” but we are working on it as a family. 

Our weekend was busy with a color run and birthday parties, but the kids had a blast.  Not sure they ever played so hard in one weekend.  Bryan was going to take the boys to a birthday party yesterday so I could grocery shop and clean, but at the last minute, I decided to go.  It was Colt’s first time to skate and he was SO excited.  He looked like a newborn giraffe (there is absolutely no other explanation) around that skating rink and he fell about 200 times, but he never would leave the rink for 3 hours until Bryan picked him up and took him out.  When you squeezed his hair, sweat dripped down his face.  As he was falling asleep last night, he said, “Mom, skating is the best thing in the world, I hope I have  dreams about it forever.” So thankful for these little children.

If I wasn’t thankful enough, the boys’ new favorite song is “When I Lift your Name on High” and on our way to school, I looked in my rear view mirror and saw two little hand praising the Lord. 

So. Thankful.

The Climax

 

It has been such a long time since I've written and I'm so sorry.  Because of that, this will probably be a long one, so feel free to close your browser at any time.  Condensing seven months into a few paragraphs is going to be hard, but I'll do my best!

Christmas came and went and it was wonderful.  Every year seems to get better (and this is what concerns me - more to come on that in a bit).  The Advent calendar, the songs, the tree, the parties, the elf on the shelf, the performances at school, Jesus' birthday, the cookies (oh the cookies!), the gifts, the giving of gifts, etc. The list just goes on. Everything is done with such joy and I realized early on in the month of December, that I couldn't wait to get up every morning with them.  Each day was as exciting for me as it was for them, just to see them so jovial about whatever Christmas activity the day held. 

In January, Colt had his adenoids removed and tubes put in his ears.  Within a week of his surgery, he could breathe and hear, like he had probably not been able to do since he was a baby.  In addition to this, we found out that Colt had two astigmatisms - one in each eye.  They are so severe, that the doctor didn't know how he could even walk around normally.  He struggled with reading in school, but I never knew it was because of his eyes.  He never complained that he couldn't see and I knew he had hearing problems, so I thought it was due to that.  So, one pair of bright blue glasses with alligators later, our boy got three of his senses back.  Because of the struggles that came with all of this, we decided at the end of the year to hold Colt back.  It became a little too much for him to try and catch up on the building blocks he missed out on the first four months of kinder, so we're going to let him try again - with all five senses in tact.

The boys started playing tee-ball in the spring and that was fun.  It was Sam's first year to play and he thought he was SO big.  He is still a young four, so he's learning the game.  He loved being part of the team and getting to play with his brother. He looked oh so cute in his tiny cleats, pants and the smallest shirt they made went down past his knees. Colt also loved playing so much.  He was the absolute fastest kid on the team and he got great hits every time he went up to bat.  He was very competitive, but only against himself. He would high five his teammates and was constantly saying "great job buddy," he'd clap, give thumbs up and he always demanded a high-five for whatever play he made.  It was so funny to watch him make a play or come in at home plate because he would look for any coach he could find, even if it was on the other team and wait for a high-five. 

We just got back from our family vacation in Florida a few days ago and we had an amazing time!  The boys just rode the waves, looked for crabs and "shark teeth."  Colt found a rock that looked very much like a shark tooth.  He carried it with him everywhere he went, he washed it, he told random people about it.  We never had the heart to tell him the truth about his rock.  It was hilarious.  We could not get those kids out of the water.  Bryan taught Colt about "surfing" and he'd use his boogie board to try and catch a good set of waves.  I'd call him in to eat or re-apply sunscreen and he say, "wait mom, I'm going out to catch one more good set."  My little Sam was braver than he has ever been.  He was also riding waves (in his floatie) and he was catching crabs with his bare hands. He even caught a lion fish - in a net, thank goodness, because they're poisonous!  Sam also learned how to swim in the pool while we were there!!  This is a very big deal because if you know Sam, he won't even get his head wet. 

While we were sitting on the beach, as we were in constant action under our tent, I looked over at the people next to us and noticed something that made my heart sink.  It was a couple, about 10 years older than us and they were there with their two kids, probably between the ages of 15 and 17.  The parents would come in and out of the water and talk and walk around, but the kids never left the tent.  Each day we'd stay out there for hours and those same kids would just sit or lay there with books or just sleeping.  Never talking to their parents, never going in the water - they just sat.  I started thinking about my kids.  Is this the climax of their lives with us?  Will Christmas not excite them as much next year and then will it be a little less exciting the next year?  Will they tell us in a few years that the beach bores them?  They're SO happy and SO excited about everything in their little lives and it makes me sick to know that one day they may not be so excited.  One day, life in general and life with us, might (gasp!) bore them.  Ahh...I realize I can't think this way because it depresses me.  The moment, this moment right now, is a complete high.  They fight, whine, tattle, have meltdowns, argue, yell, etc.  Don't get me wrong, they are not angels. We have lots of tears and not-so-good times - I mean, they're four and six.  But when it's good, it's amazing.  So, after pondering this for several days now, I choose to give it up.  My kids will grow up, I have come to know that time is my greatest enemy, but in the meantime, I will cherish with elation every single thing that puts a smile on their little face!

Until next time...

Love, Sarah

Changes, Changes Everywhere

If you read this blog, then you are more than likely a member of my family and already know about the major life change of moving our family across state lines.  It was weird how it happened, quickly, like a bandaid - it was painful to leave our lives behind that we had established over the last 8 years together, but it happened so quickly that it didn't leave us a whole lot of time to experience the pain.  The pain of moving and the sadness that accompanies telling wonderful friends goodbye. Things happened so quickly and the whole universe seemed to act in our favor in such a way, that it was nothing less than the hand of God letting us know that this decision is one that we needed to make.

Fast forward to today.  Halloween, October 31.  We have been living in Louisiana for three full months now and we are starting to adjust to our life here.  We have three kids at three different schools - that in itself is quite the challenge!  In a place where I grew up as a child and a teenager, it was rather foreign to me living here as a parent raising children.  We are making new friends though and reuniting with old ones and we are surrounded by lots of family!  There are no more random people from Sitter City watching my children, thank you Lord. 

Bryan got a little aluminum boat to take the kids fishing and boy do they love to fish!  It's the last thing they talk about before they go to bed and they count down the days until daddy gets off work for the weekend to take them fishing.  In addition to the fishing, there is constant playing and running and little black feet.  Long gone are the days where I might get away with skipping a bath now and then because they didn't play outside or if they did, they weren't getting dirty in our 2x2 yard.  Nope, I'm washing more clothes and more dirty, smelly boys for sure.  I love it though.  They are even more hungry too!  In fact, we're all more hungry, maybe too hungry - there is no shortage of gumbo and rice and gravy in Cajun country!  Guess we (myself and Bryan) better watch all that good food. 

This is a new adventure for us and although rewarding, it is also challenging.  Finding the right schools for two very different little boys and one teenage girl is stressful - it gives me anxiety every day.  I just pray that God gives me the wisdom to make the right decision.  We also miss our friends and family in Texas very, very much.  They were so good to us and it is hard to think about them over there.  We will visit soon though and all of us will continue to live life to the fullest in whatever hand we are dealt.

I thank God for these blessings.  I love  the trees, the squirrels, the plethora of cousins that surround us and the black feet.  Oh how I love those black feet!  Those feet tell me that my boys are playing hard and if that doesn't tell me enough, they are falling asleep while reading their books at night - something they never did before and it sure makes me smile. 

As always, there is more to write, but we have some Halloween parties to get ready for and it must wait for another time.

Happy Halloween from myself, Bryan, a ninja turtle (Donatello to be exact), Spiderman and Little Red Riding Hood!

A Letter to Colt's Kindergarten Teacher

Dear Mrs. Lungaro,

I wanted to write you a letter and tell you a little about the sweet blonde boy you have sitting in your class there. 

This child's name is Colton and he is five years old.  It seems like not long ago he was only one, yet somehow now he has turned five.  I guess I blinked - they told me not to.

As you read this, I can see him sitting there.  He's smiling from ear to ear because he loves school and is so eager to learn.  He has his little supplies neatly stacked in his chair back that has his name in bright green. Green is his favorite color.  I can see his Spiderman backpack hanging in his cubby.  He has never seen the movie Spiderman, but watches the cartoons on the tablet.  Not the new adventures of Spiderman, but the ones from 1984, they are his favorite.  Some people say he has an old soul.  I hate character things and I never buy them, but my baby is a school boy now and he wanted Spiderman, so that's what he got.  I'm learning to value and respect his preferences and opinions.  This is hard, but I'm getting better. 

He is not only smart, but kind and intuitive.  If he ever gets angry or frustrated, it will never be because he isn't getting his way - it will be because he is an extreme perfectionist and his anger and frustration is only directed at himself.

He is silly and funny.  He has great manners and is very polite.  If you find a time that he is not, he just needs to be reminded to take his manners out of his pocket.  As soon as he finds them shoved way down deep and pulls them out, he'll be just fine.

He loves to run and play outside.  Tag is his favorite game and he can swing onto every monkey bar without help.  He will also ask you to watch him repeatedly.

He has a hard time hearing, so please speak up.  Relocate him in the classroom so he can hear better if you have to and never ever ever, under any circumstances let someone make fun of my child for any reason.  He is a wonderful, beautiful child of God and I believe he is perfectly made.  I hope everyone else can see this as well.  

You see, I am not leaving just my child with you for eight hours a day, I'm leaving you a piece of my heart.  My greatest blessing and the joy of my life is in your hands.  Take care of this most precious child.  Love him and handle him with care. 

Most Sincerely Yours,
Sarah 

Sam-isms

The last post was devoted to Colt and this one is all about Sam.  What can I say about Sam?  This child puts laugh lines on my face and creases in my brow.  I'm not sure it's possible for one child to make you belly laugh until your abdomen hurts and make you grow horns at the same time.  Sam is successful in doing both.  My sweet, little pooh bear Sammy.  I love him so much and he keeps our lives VERY interesting. 

Kids say funny things.  They really do.  I wish I had a recorder with me at all times to record some of these things. When Sam was only one, my cousin told me that Sam should do stand-up and I've never believed that more than I do now. 

First, he creates words, all kinds of words.  He made up the word "swittle" when he was two - meaning, sweet and little.  He has a stuffed frog that he loves and he says, "That's such a swittle frog."  He made up the word "snug" a few months ago - I guess it's a cross between a snuggle and a hug.  Every night he says, "Mom, will you come snug me?"  Of course I come running, because how can I resist the chance to snug my baby that becomes less of a baby every day?  Then, just a few days ago, Bryan came home from work and Sam started kissing his bald head, his arm, his shirt, his hand and elbows.  Bryan said, "Sam, I love all the kisses buddy, but what are you doing?"  Sam said, "I'm beavering you dad."  Beaver-ing....hmmm.....  This kid, I tell you.  You just have to laugh.

If you have ever noticed Sam's teeth, he has a little (actually, it's rather large) gap between the two front teeth.  Colt does not and his are pretty straight across.  Every night, the boys stand on the stool together and brush their teeth in the mirror.  The other night, they were standing together and Colt started talking about when he loses his first tooth.  Sam said, "Colt, I already lost a tooth and when your bigger like me, you might lose one too."  Of course this prompted Colt to challenge him and demand to see his missing tooth and Sam points to his gap and says, "Look, see that hole right there, there used to be a tooth there, but I lost it already."  My poor little gap-tooth baby! :-)

Lastly, a few nights ago we went to eat at a Mexican restaurant.  When the waiter came out with the tray of food, Bryan turned to me and asked what I had ordered and I told him tacos.  When the waiter went to hand Sam his food, he looked right at him and said, "What's the plan, taco man?"  Dead. Serious.  I cannot make this up.

Every day we laugh.  There are so many more examples, but I just wanted to hit the highlights.  However, when Sam poops and sticks his finger in it and wipes it on the walls, we don't laugh.  When he stuck two toothbrushes so far down the toilet, that Bryan had to take the entire toilet completely apart and bring it all the way downstairs to get those toothbrushes out, we didn't laugh.  When he sticks his head in the dog's water bowl when it's 40 degrees outside, we don't laugh then either.  And when he tells me that he stuck my wedding rings down the sink drain and said it was in three different sinks - all of which I had to take apart.  Only to find out that he had put them in the closet and I certainly didn't laugh.  These are the times those horns start to emerge.  But for the most part, if we didn't have ALL these things to keep up hopping, we'd be pretty bored!  So we are thankful for the healthy, funny, amazing little beings we've been blessed with, even if they never do give us a moment's peace! 



*Pictures are from the petting zoo at the rodeo carnival last Friday*