The Next Step

It is hard to believe, but it looks like summer is coming to an end and another school year is about to start.  I’m anxious to get back into a routine and to save a million dollars a month not having to pay a babysitter full time, but I must say, I have enjoyed this summer.

We swam and swam and swam some more. Sam is a full-on fish now and Colt is a master swimmer. We took our vacation to Wyoming and Montana this year and what a vacation it was! We saw animals we had only seen in books and God’s most beautiful handiwork that books and internet pictures could never do justice. The whole experience was a complete and total rejuvenation for the soul and I will remember it always, I hope my children will too.

It brings tears to my eyes to think of my little Sam George going off to kindergarten. Where did the time go? How did this happen? I seem to be asking these questions constantly these days and it breaks my heart. Onward and upward we go though.

I took Sam to kindergarten testing last week and when he finished, I asked the teacher how he did. She said one word: “Wow.” He’s a little smarty pants, in more ways than one! Ha. But in all honesty, I’m so proud of that little guy we call Sam. If you know him, you know the mess that he is. He has a magnetic personality that makes kids of all ages just adore him and he’s actually a really funny guy. He possesses incredible athleticism and drive when he puts his mind to something and he is fully aware, at all times, of everything around him (be careful what you say!). His mind is always moving – maybe not in the right direction, but you better believe, it’s moving. This child is fiercely independent and hard headed, but you’ve also never met a bigger snuggle-bug late at night or early in the morning. He is now and still remains mama’s baby and I am perfectly, 100% a-okay with that! Did I mention the curls?? How in the world could I have forgotten those curls?! He said, “Mom, (runs fingers through hair) girls just LOVE my curls!” Oh Lord….

Sam is a lover of much. He loves babies, his cousins, his friends and his family, he loves to play outside – a video gamer he will never be. He has a big heart when it comes to helping his brother succeed at something and he will often times let Colt win at things to boost his self-esteem. However, having a child that can command a room, requires our constant attention, for with that ability comes great power. He’s a leader and our job as his parents, is to lead him in the right, Godly direction. It’s no small task and I know we’re going to be doing A LOT of praying the upcoming years!

But I sure do love that baby and he is SO excited to be a big boy going to Kindergarten! I will keep you all posted on how that goes and in the meantime, if you want to send some prayers this way, I won’t complain. I have a feeling that I’m going to be a blubbering mess come Friday morning!

Happy Birthday Colt!

Seven years ago I was in the hospital, experiencing the most excruciating pain and the most joy I’d ever experienced in my entire life. On May 28, 2009, my world as I knew it, changed forever. Surrounded by more family and friends than a waiting room could possibly hold, I welcomed my little 6 pound, 9 ounce baby boy into the world.

He is what I had wanted my whole life, since I was a child. This tiny, perfect, beautiful gift that God had not only given me, but felt me worthy to trust me with this little life. I am and still remain so unworthy. But I am so thankful.  I am thankful for the miracle of life and most thankful for the miracle of this child’s life.

Seven years ago, I was just a child myself. I’ve been on this bumpy road ever since, trying so hard to give my sweet Colt a good life and to let him know how unbelievably loved he is. I make mistakes, so many mistakes. But his love is unconditional in return, so the two of us make a good team. Every morning I ask the boys if they slept well and had sweet dreams. The other day, I was running out the door to work and he kept saying my name and tugging on me and finally I turned around and yelled, “WHAT COLT?!” He said, “Mom, you forgot something. You forgot to ask me how I slept and if I had sweet dreams.” So I set all my stuff down and loved on him and asked him how he slept and if he had sweet dreams. My sweet, little creature of habit.

Every night since he came home from the hospital, he has to go to sleep with “Golden Slumbers” – Paul McCartney sings it, but it’s originally a poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. It’s so important, that even Bobba has to sing it to him when I’m not there and he’s having a sleepover. Sometimes when I sing it, he tells me that he didn’t pay attention and asks me to sing it again. If I tell him no, he starts crying until he can’t breathe because he wants to not only hear, but pay attention to his song. I’d been getting so mad at him when he makes me sing it again and the other day, I thought, why?? Why am I getting mad that I have to sing a two-minute song again? One day very soon, he won’t want me to sing this song and I’m going to be devastated. So now I sing it. I sing it twice and I’ll sing it three times, because I’m so BLESSED that my child wants me to do this at all and I know one day I’ll be the one crying to sing it again.

We went to get a new pair of glasses last week and Colt wanted a pair of wire-rimmed ones. I didn’t want him to get them, he looked entirely too old. I loved his bright blue ones.

He also went to bed the other night without his special blanket he’s had since he was a baby. I asked him if he wanted me to get it and he told me that it was okay, he was big now and really didn’t need it. I promptly went and got his blanket and told him that he did need it (I’m crazy, I know. Don’t judge me!).

But, I conceded. I stopped making him sleep with his blanket and I let him get the wire rimmed glasses. It’s hard to let my baby grow, but I’m trying. I’m trying really hard to fight the tears and make these transitions – some days are better than others.

So, as I come upon the 7-year anniversary of the greatest day in the history of my (almost) 34 years of life, I am thankful, so thankful for this gift. The gift of a child that is kind and generous from the oldest person he meets to the youngest. His heart is pure and his love of life and the little details of it, is contagious. His memory is incredible (ask him what the elf on the shelf did 3 years ago on the 2^nd Tuesday in December because he’ll remember, I’m serious). He genuinely, unconditionally, whole-heartedly loves. He loves his family, he loves his friends and he loves that damn crazy puppy of his. Most importantly though, he loves Jesus. Even though he only wants sleep overs with Jesus and doesn’t want to spend his whole life there, he loves him very much.

Thank you Lord, for the gift my son, Colton (Gus) Skinner.

A Tube of Toothpaste

It has been six years since I have had a job.  I’ve subbed and worked part-time for a while in Houston, but this is the first time I’ve had a real, full-time job since becoming a mother.  To be honest, it has been a struggle of epic proportions.  My husband, bless his heart, is a great father, one of the best I’ve ever known, but he is a terrible cleaner.  In fact, he is messier than all three kids combined (and that’s bad because the kids are TORNADOS).  I come home to a house that is littered in clothes and cups (I live in cup-hell, but that’s a blog for another day) and smells like poop because someone wasn’t watching our precious little puppy or EVEN WORSE, said husband was watching our precious puppy and can point out where the poop is, but waited for me to come around to pick it up and Clorox the floor.  Did I mention that dinner and homework haven’t been started either?? FUN TIMES IN THE SKINNER HOUSE!!

So needless to say, I’ve been very angry lately.  Angry at anyone and everyone because I literally, physically, figuratively, emotionally, mentally and another other –ally(s) that you can imagine, cannot do it all anymore.  But, all that being said, my home life is not a job I can quit or walk out on for any length of time (because, could you IMAGINE what it would look like when I came back?). 

I no longer have time to shop anymore, goodbye forever Target, Walmart and Walgreens.  So, Chloe needs face wash and razors, Bryan is out of bar soap and the boys need vitamins and toothpaste.  What to do?  I got on Walgreens.com and made an order with two-day shipping.  I told the boys that I ordered them new toothpaste and they asked what kind.  It was Avengers, no big deal, I just picked it because they like Avengers and it was the first thing that popped up when I searched. Both days that it took for the package to arrive, they asked and waited for their Avenger toothpaste.  My boys acted like they were waiting for Christmas morning.  Well, Santa (a.k.a. the UPS guy) arrived with the Walgreens package.  They opened it like it was a present and ran upstairs to brush their teeth.  Two minutes later they came downstairs saving the puppy from villains like Captain America and picking things up with their really strong muscles like the Hulk.  The long-awaited toothpaste had given them Avenger super-hero powers.  How about that? Watching them run around, I started thinking about my devotional I read that morning.  Be thankful in all things and in all circumstances, not to be universally thankful, but be specific.  Specifically, I am thankful for these little children that still believe in magic.  That the magic of super hero toothpaste will give them special powers.  Thankful that they can run and play and that they are healthy.  Thankful for their joyful spirit and the little things that they love.  Thankful that although I feel like we are surrounded by chaos, they don’t feel it.  Their life is carefree and fun, which is exactly what I want for my five and six-year-old boys.

So, this weekend, I got a new outlook on my life.  Work has made chaos, yes.  But work is a BLESSING and I truly am THANKFUL for my job and the things that it will provide for us! So, I am on a path to organizing my chaos. We started this weekend, cleaning.  I gave the boys jobs and Bryan jobs and they actually did help.  Chloe, my biggest helper of all was sick, so she got some much needed rest (she is the least of my messers anyway).  We are a long way from “getting it all together,” but we are working on it as a family. 

Our weekend was busy with a color run and birthday parties, but the kids had a blast.  Not sure they ever played so hard in one weekend.  Bryan was going to take the boys to a birthday party yesterday so I could grocery shop and clean, but at the last minute, I decided to go.  It was Colt’s first time to skate and he was SO excited.  He looked like a newborn giraffe (there is absolutely no other explanation) around that skating rink and he fell about 200 times, but he never would leave the rink for 3 hours until Bryan picked him up and took him out.  When you squeezed his hair, sweat dripped down his face.  As he was falling asleep last night, he said, “Mom, skating is the best thing in the world, I hope I have  dreams about it forever.” So thankful for these little children.

If I wasn’t thankful enough, the boys’ new favorite song is “When I Lift your Name on High” and on our way to school, I looked in my rear view mirror and saw two little hand praising the Lord. 

So. Thankful.